Achieving Great Things by Getting Past the “No’s”

My daughter was selling girl scout cookies outside the local grocery store recently. She and her fellow scout did NOT want to ask the people walking by if they wanted to buy cookies, because they were afraid the person would say “No.” They did NOT want to experience that rejection. Because of that, sales weren’t very good. I recently heard the quote from entrepreneur and inventor, Mark Cuban, that “EVERY NO GETS ME CLOSER TO A YES”, and thought it would be great to try it out with the girls. I guaranteed them that if they asked each person who walked by if they wanted to buy girl scout cookies, they would ALWAYS have a “Yes” by the 10th person. They were skeptical, but took turns asking and counted the “No’s” as they did. Guess what? They never got past five “No’s” without getting to a “Yes.” They did this repeatedly, and started counting at one again every time they got a “Yes.” By the 2nd or 3rd round, they had no problem with rejection, because they knew a “Yes” was coming soon. Their positive attitude and willingness to try resulted in sales going through the roof! The best part was that “No” no longer made them feel bad or frustrated, because they knew it was just ONE STEP CLOSER to a “Yes.”

If you have ever been through a job search, went through dating to find that special someone, started a consultant business, or tried to sell something, you probably have experienced rejection at least once. It can be very discouraging and may make you feel like giving up. Many people give up after the first “No”, let alone persevering past multiple “No’s.” The problem is that many times, you cannot get to the “Yes” without going through all those “No’s” first. If you do not persevere past the “No’s” you may be missing out on great things!

Here’s some advice for how to get past the “No’s.”

1. Start Celebrating the “No’s.” If you are in the mindset that “No’s” will lead to a “Yes”, then you should celebrate the “No’s.” Every “No” is getting you closer to that “Yes.”

2. Set a Goal. Think about what you are trying to accomplish, and how many “No’s” it may take to get to that “Yes.” Make sure you set a reasonable goal. For example, if you are searching for a job, it may take 30 “No’s” until you get to the “Yes”, which ends up being your dream job.

3. Track your Progress. Once you’ve set your goal, grab a piece of paper and draw the number of boxes it will take to get to that “Yes.” You can then cross off each “No” and be comfortable that you will get to that “Yes” before all the boxes are crossed off.

4. Turn the “No” into a Learning Opportunity. For every “No”, think about what you may have done differently, and incorporate that the next time. Imagine how much you are going to learn while you are working towards that “Yes.”

5. Accept the “No” Graciously. You never know what the person saying “No” has going on in their life. Be courteous and kind, and don’t blame them for saying “No.”

6. Stay Positive. A “No” can be a positive thing because it is an opportunity to figure out what went wrong and to do better next time. It can make you a better person in the long run.

7. Don’t Take it Personally. We are wired to take rejection personally, and it can be devastating. Keep in mind, however, that you do not know the EXACT reason for the “No.” It most likely has NOTHING to do with you at all. Think about the last time you said “No” to someone. Most likely, it had nothing to do with the person you were saying “No” to. When someone says “No” to you, it’s not about you, it’s about them.

8. Realize It’s Their Loss. Focus on the fact that what you are providing is valuable, and if others are not taking advantage of that, they are the ones missing out.

9. It’s Not Meant to Be. The person telling you “No” is actually doing you a favor, because when you eventually get to the “Yes” it will be a better opportunity for you. The universe has a way of making sure things work out the way they should.

10. Keep Moving Forward. Don’t let a “No” stop you in your tracks. Pick yourself up, learn from the experience, and move on. Martin Luther King Jr. once said “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” You’ll get to that “Yes” if you keep going.

The next time you are working towards something and hear your first “No”, start counting at one like the girl scouts did, and celebrate the fact that you are ONE STEP CLOSER to your “Yes.”